subroutine event_display_zippy

c
c **********************************************************************
c
c Provide wisdom for the user, to be written to the message area,
c if the user figures out where to click to obtain enlightenment.
c
c George Gollin, CPPM (Marseille) and university of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign)
c g-gollin@uiuc.edu, 1999
c
c **********************************************************************
c
c
      parameter (max_zippy=27)
c
c
c **********************************************************************
c
      logical first_time
c
      character*80 zippy(max_zippy)
c
c intialization flag:
      data first_time /.true./
c
c pearls of wisdom:
      data zippy /
     .	'I.m mentally OVERDRAWN! What.s that SIGN ahead?',
     .	'Where.s ROD STERLING when you really need him?',
     .	'Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?',
     .	'I was receiving messages from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  ',
     .	'YOW!!',
     .	'Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?',
     .	'I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!',
     .	'Yow!  Am I having fun yet?',
     .	'ED MCMAHON is doing BAD THINGS to JOAN RIVERS!',
     .	'I don.t know WHY I said that..',
     .	'I think it came from the FILLINGS in my rear molars..',
     .	'I.ve been VIEWING a SALESREP -bleep- a HOUSECAT!',
     .	'Will the local flora keep _Bay Watch_ off the air?',
     .	'I smell a RANCID CORN DOG!',
     .	'Peanut butter reminds me of opera!!  I wonder why?',
     .	'I ate a rutabaga in my socks! It was ELEMENTAL!',
     .	'Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana!',
     .	'Why do fruit flies like kohlrabis and the letter A?',
     .	'Qwertyuiop, I said, but it was ENTIRELY INCORRECT.',
     .	'Ah, the romance of gravel, the allure of mustard...',
     .	'So this is how it feels to be a DATA BASE in love?',
     .	'Never share your alignment constants with STRANGERS!',
     .	'Why, I said, should I NOT download unfrosted donuts?',
     .	'This would be funny if it weren.t for the BAD FOOD.',
     .  'Awright, give me back Talking Moose and I.ll behave.',
     .  'My cat thinks neutrinos taste like ANCHOVIES.',
     .  'I asked Alta Vista ..But what really IS reality?..' 
     .  /
c
c
c ******************* (initialize stuff)
c
      if(first_time) then
         first_time=.false.
c
c get a random number generator seed seed based on system time since the
c previous midnight:
         t=secnds(0.)
         if(t .lt. 1000.) then
            iseed=t*1000.
            else if(t .lt. 10000.) then
            iseed=t*100.
            else if(t .lt. 100000.) then
            iseed=t*10.
            else
            iseed=12345
            end if
c
         i1=0
         i2=0
         call rmarin(iseed, i1, i2)
         end if
c
c
c ******************* (get a random number and report)
c
      itry=0
c
 10   continue
      itry=itry+1
c
c protect against the random number generator crashing on us:
      if(itry .gt. 10) return
c
      call ranmar(random, 1)
c
      irandom=max_zippy*random + 1
c
      if(irandom .lt. 1 .or. irandom .gt. max_zippy) go to 10
c
      call event_display_write_message(zippy(irandom))
c
      return
      end